What The Heck Am I Doing?

There are days (a lot of days) where I ask myself this question. "What the heck am I doing?" I am sure that many moms have asked themselves this very same question. Whether it's while you are up for the fourth time in the middle of the night or chasing a baby around the house just to put a freaking shirt on them, you think WTH.

I am not particularly the most patient person so I find myself in tears when my son chooses to not go with my flow after countless attempts otherwise. And he just looks at me like...WTH. Notice the theme? I have no idea what I'm doing or why. I don't know why I try to dress my son into clothes that no one is going to see but my husband and I while he has perfectly clean pajamas on. The struggle is not worth it. I think I have finally realized that! I don't know why I compare my mothering skills to others when quite frankly, it's our life not theirs. I don't know why I let "advice" from family members, who believe they know it all, bother me. I don't know why I pick up all of my sons toys for them to just get thrown all over the floor again. I don't know why my son feels like he needs to throw a fit because I want to change his diaper, put him somewhere safe while I take care of business or set him down after holding him until my arms want to fall off.

I get so upset sometimes because I feel like I'm not the best mother that I could be. I have all of these grand ideas of what I want to accomplish as a mother and a wife but some days I get nowhere close. The dirty floors, the dishes piled in the kitchen, the laundry (and toys) all over the floor, the nice dinner I should've started already...all the things that I worry over that I really shouldn't. But then, I see my son's gap toothed smile and rethink things.

You know, things aren't so bad and shouldn't be so overanalized. Life is too short for that.

If you're that mother who thinks, "what the heck am I doing?" You are not alone! You are doing just fine. Being a mother isn't always easy but it is worth it. Stay strong my friends! (And maybe indulge in a glass of wine...or two.)