Defeated.



Is there a button that turns your frown upside down? I could use one of those. [Today has been one of those ugly cry days.]

Hi. I'm Kelley, mom to a 1 year old who is very strong willed and needy, lately. Wife to a man I like to clean and cook for but don't always live up to. Things I like to do for myself? Shop (in which I'm limited to - thanks money for not growing on trees!), everything Scentsy (recently became a consultant), go out and do things (sometimes restricting due to child and/or money still not growing on trees), help others, have a clean house, make good food, bake cookies for loved ones, make my son laugh...the list could go on and on.

Even though I know it is not physically, emotionally or mentally possible to complete all of the wonderful things I have listed in my head on a daily basis, I still strive to and end up disappointed. To be honest, the last couple of days, my main focus is to let go of all of the "mundane house tasks" and enjoy time with my son but I still feel defeated. Yes, maybe being 5 months pregnant, tired, achy all over, emotional and over-analyzing everything that everyone else is doing doesn't help my situation. I just want to make my son happy and he is in a phase where that is not always possible, no matter how much time I spend with him. I take it personally, which totally sucks. I know he's not, not enjoying things, on purpose but it still hurts. Also, I am in a stage of wanting/needing a good friend to hang out with that has a kid or maybe if I could clone my sister, it would make my life a little less lonely.

So, I think I'm just going to take him out to the park at the lake. Maybe grab some food before hand and have a little picnic (or a chase him around while trying to shove food in his mouth and mine at the same time thing). And turn this frown around myself. Seriously though, if you have one of those buttons...name your price! ;)