I am not particularly the most patient person so I find myself in tears when my son chooses to not go with my flow after countless attempts otherwise. And he just looks at me like...WTH. Notice the theme? I have no idea what I'm doing or why. I don't know why I try to dress my son into clothes that no one is going to see but my husband and I while he has perfectly clean pajamas on. The struggle is not worth it. I think I have finally realized that! I don't know why I compare my mothering skills to others when quite frankly, it's our life not theirs. I don't know why I let "advice" from family members, who believe they know it all, bother me. I don't know why I pick up all of my sons toys for them to just get thrown all over the floor again. I don't know why my son feels like he needs to throw a fit because I want to change his diaper, put him somewhere safe while I take care of business or set him down after holding him until my arms want to fall off.
I get so upset sometimes because I feel like I'm not the best mother that I could be. I have all of these grand ideas of what I want to accomplish as a mother and a wife but some days I get nowhere close. The dirty floors, the dishes piled in the kitchen, the laundry (and toys) all over the floor, the nice dinner I should've started already...all the things that I worry over that I really shouldn't. But then, I see my son's gap toothed smile and rethink things.
If you're that mother who thinks, "what the heck am I doing?" You are not alone! You are doing just fine. Being a mother isn't always easy but it is worth it. Stay strong my friends! (And maybe indulge in a glass of wine...or two.)